you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
