I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
