I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
