Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
