I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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