Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
