I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
