where am i from again
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
