I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
