did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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