he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
