im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
