organizing the empties. That sober.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
