I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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