I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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