I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
