I'm really into asian looking animals
Redeem this text for a blowjob
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
