i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
