Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
