if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
