he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
