I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
