We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
