which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
