this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
