You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
