It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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