My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
