Fuck appropriateness.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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