My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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