I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
