i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
