I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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