Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
