I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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