Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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