question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
