If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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