my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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