If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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