I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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