ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
What a dumb baby whore.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
