Plan B is the new Plan A
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
