My balls are so social today.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
