too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
