these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
