good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
