is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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