the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
