She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
