I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You are the jesus of drinking
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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