to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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