How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
