if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
